Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
