Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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