Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
