Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
