The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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