How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
