just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
