how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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