I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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