And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
