you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
They are going to name an STD after you.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
