I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
