chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
