are you so shy because you have an std?
Too much gin, very little bucket
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
