I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize