Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
