Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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