I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize