well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
