so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
This girl is more easily done than said...
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
