U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
