I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
