perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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