he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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