Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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