need another drink. this is the easiest way
lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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