i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
