It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
he's single and there are thong briefs.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
