He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Randomize
