The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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