Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
