you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I need water and some morals
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
