I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
