Swine flu. Run for my life!
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
do herpes really smell.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
