also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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