What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
