anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize