just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
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