I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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