And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
