u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize