so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
