hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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