Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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