Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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