How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
