I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
