No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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