chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He keeps bees of course he's weird
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize