Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
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