at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
