You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
