Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
