I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
