I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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