I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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