Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
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