Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Randomize
